I woke up this morning, looked outside, and realized that I am going to be a bitter human being for the next 4 months. IT WAS SNOWING!! Those that know me well will attest that I really dislike snow. Heck, I'll even go so far as to use the word "hate" when it comes to this stuff. This is not something that has come about just recently. This stems back to my childhood.

I grew up in a small town just west of Erie, PA right on Lake Erie. It really is a beautiful place...for about 5 months out of the year. I spent 25 years of my life in a region of this great land of ours where the possibility of snow existed for 7 months out of the year! This is not what I call a paradise. I can vividly remember seeing 24 inches of snow fall in a period of 4 hours. Let's face the facts about winter folks...it's dark, it's cold, it's wet...sounds a lot like a prison camp.

There are other circumstances about winter that make my skin crawl also...THE HOLIDAYS!! I have a serious problem with the holiday season. Call me a Scrooge, call me a pain in the ass. I cannot stand the holiday season. It's not the Holidays of Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Year's that I don't like. It's the being around people that I can't stand. I detest Holiday parties. I don't want to have dinner with 50 relatives from any side of the family, be it my wife's or mine. I don't want to go through the same old "How are things?", "How's married life?", "Did you find a job yet in your field?",...I've always stated that I would rather send 50 copies of a press conference type statement with someone to pass out to everyone at the dinner answering all of thier boring questions.

I always get flack whenever we host Thanksgiving here at the house. My wife loves it, don't ask me why. She loves getting up at the butt-crack of dawn, and cleaning the house top to bottom. She loves to bust her hump getting everything ready for the upcoming pending disaster...and I always have to help. I usually begin my complaining about 5 minutes into everything. By 20 minutes I'm sent away like it's a punishment. This is what I wanted in the first place.

Now, everyone is told the time we will eat. I set my watch by it. "Dinner is at 4PM." is what I'm told. But, without failure, dinner will always be 2 hours after the set time...no matter what time we announce! Everyone has to come over and pack into the kitchen. It's like rush hour on the subway. 30 people in a room built for 4.

Now is when I begin my strategic planning. Every opportunity I can think of to disappear to my room, I find. I have a bathroom in the master bedroom, and I seem to develop a VERY weak bladder during Thankgiving. I've found out that folks leave you alone if you go to the bathroom. In there is a battery operated radio that I tune to the football game. I'll make at least 15 bathroom trips until dinner is ready.

Now I eat like a starving man who hasn't had food in two weeks! I'm done with my dinner within 7-10 minutes flat. There, the purpose for everyone coming over is finished as far as I'm concerned...I sat at the table with the family and ate. That's what was asked of me, my job is done. I now go to the bedroom and plop into my recliner in front of the T.V. until the last freeloading vagrant has left my domicile.

Like I said, I become very bitter. I don't want sympathy, I don't want people to say "I feel your pain.", I just want to be left alone until the weather gets warmer. My dream is to build a house in the woods where the temprature during the day will NEVER drop below 65 degrees. It can get as cold as it wants to at night, I'm sleeping anyway. I also do not want another house within a 2 mile radius of mine.

I guess it'll stay a dream until I win the Powerball!!